Merry Christmas!!

I have gotten all that I had wanted for Christmas.

It's an odd feeling.

I wanted my own Christmas tree.

I got one.

A beautiful 4 foot tall artificial white tree. It is decorated with black and red balls, for my Georgia Bulldogs, with a tiny silver topper. It has white lights. And it is beautiful. It makes me happy. It sits on a table under the window and is almost always on.

I wanted a gingerbread house.

So I got one.

I constructed it and then let the boys loose on it. That was not an easy thing for me to do. I really  like to be in control. Of everything. But I let them do it. And it was ok. More than ok, it was good, and fun. And then to my surprise, they called me in there with them because they actually wanted me. That was my favorite part of the whole thing. Then after supper tonight, I let them eat the gingerbread house. Laughter rolling throughout my house as we all took turns biting the roof. It was great.

Yesterday I got to go to my mom's.

We spent the day talking, cooking, cleaning, rushing, decorating and laughing. And all with great joy knowing that at the end of the day, Ed was coming home! (Ed is my beloved step-father who has been away a lot lately. It's for work and he is really doing great things, but we all miss him when he's gone.)

I even got to doing new and exciting at mom's. I was put in charge of putting the lights on the tree. I had never put the lights on the tree. Someone taller with more experience has always put the lights on the tree. But yesterday, I was the tallest. And mom did have to go pick Ed up from the airport.

So I grabbed a strand of lights and went at it. Round and round, five strands of multi colored lights on this fabulous tree. Then came the magic moment. I was going to plug it in and observe the wonder of the tree. Or so I thought. Apparently, there is a wrong way of putting lights on a tree. The wrong way would be when you try to plug them in and notice that you don't have the plug end in your hand. You have the other end. Yes, I strung 5 strands backwards. After getting up out of a bed of fir needles that I had been rolling in while laughing my fool head off, I took down the lights and restrung them. Sean helped decorate the rest and got to put the star on top. We were both very happy!

So that was quality Christmas time with my mother and a fun story to carry with me forever.

Another thing I wanted for Christmas was my family. At Christmas Eve service. At my church. (Malcolm is usually with his dad or we are at someone's house and unable to go.)

And tonight we got to go! I was in a beautiful sanctuary surrounded by people I love. It was even better than I had imagined. I am still glowing and filled with with so many blessed feelings that I'm afraid I'll explode!

The other couple of thing's that I wanted- Christmas morning at my house (I usually do that at mom's), then off to mom's for what is sure to be an amazing dinner, and on Saturday, we are going to Forest's sister's house to do Christmas there (we're usually trying to get them fit into the rest of our two day crazy schedule.)

When I look at it, it doesn't seem like I asked for much, mostly just my family together. No shuffling of kids. No crazy schedules. Doing things our way at our pace. Peacefulness.

I got everything I asked for.

And then some more. When I asked for Christmas, I got all of it. I got the family, I got the tree, I got my gingerbread house, and I got to play with some lights and a tree.

But that's not all I got.

I got an open heart, ready for the season. I got to light up with the joy of my Savior's birth. With an open heart, I was able to feel so much more of everything. Sorrow and happiness. Joy and grief.

So as I start what is sure to be the great adventure of present wrapping, I count my many blessings. I will laugh and be joyous, I'll be too tired to get up in the morning, and I'll enjoy every moment.

Tonight, I say an extra prayer for those who are hurting, and wish you all a very Merry Christmas!

My Phonebooth

Your own phonebooth? Really? And just what do you think you're talking about?

Well, I'm talking about that place I wander off to when I'm not concerned with the outside world. It's a lovely little phonebooth, residing in AnnieWorld, occupied by just me. Some people would see this as daydreaming, but it's more than that. It really is me losing all connection with the outside world. It's like a safe little bubble that nothing can enter, unless I allow it to.

To me, this is the best place to be. Nothing bad happens there. I'm also convinced that all of the memories that I lost are floating around in there. (I have the honest to goodness worst memory ever! It ranges from convenient that I can't remember to feeling terrible that I can't remember.) It is my happy place that can go with me everywhere. And I usually don't even know I've been there til I've left! It's funny that way.

In my little phonebooth, I am one with the universe. I know who I am and what I am when I have unlimited access to AnnieWorld.

Every day, I wake up in the phonebooth state of mind. I have a clear head; I know exactly what I'm going to do that day, and exactly how I will react in any situation. This feeling of ecstatic control fades quickly. So fast that I can hardly remember what it really feels like even though it happens every day. Because as soon as I know I have it all together for the day, the phone calls start. Or my kids happen. Or my husband has a different idea on what today should be. Or it could just be my own fault. I have a way of doing, saying, thinking or being that can throw life out of whack in a mere second.

When I fall asleep at night, which doesn't happen well or often, I am consoled by the thought that AnnieWorld will be there waiting. My phonebooth shall greet me with open doors.

I'll have to admit that I haven't been to my phonebooth lately. I know! Not be in the place where you feel so safe and calm!? It's not by choice, promise. Life has been intruding in a very unpleasant way here lately, and my thoughts won't leave me alone long enough for me to run inside to run inside.

But this isn't about all the intrusions. Those are for another day.

This is just giving my phonebooth a little shout-out, which is LONG overdue.


Thanks phonebooth, for being a place of seclusion and joy! And though I might not feel your safety and care tonight, I'll rest easily knowing you gave me a Forest for times you aren't there.



Oh! I almost forgot to tell you my favorite thing about my phonebooth!
Crazy checks itself at the door!

Here I Am

For a long time, I've been trying to decide if there are enough reasons to write my own blog. I'm worried that no one will read it. That if they do read it, they won't like it. That I could be revealing more of myself than I ever wanted to. Or that I might learn more about myself than I ever wanted to.

For those of you who have decided that I am worth your time, thanks! Your reward is getting to know a little bit about me.

I'm Annie, mother of two boys, Malcolm, 11, and Sean, 10, wife to Forest, care-taker of dogs and cats, and a full time student at University of Alabama in Huntsville(UAH). I have twin 16 year old step-sons who jump in and out of our lives. I have dear friends who are always there for me and family who I'm lucky enough to call friends too. I am also a daughter to a wonderful mother, a step-father who says he's proud of me, and a father I'm trying to get to know again.

If you throw in the fact that I just might be a little crazy, you get a household that is full of laughter, tears, and love.

I work on staying sane one day at a time.

It's either that, or drown in this sea of men.